Steve is Offline

I can now die a happy man

2009-04-03T00:30:00.003-04:00

With the release of:

I've finally found the one album that I can listen to for the rest of my life. After the release of NOW THATS WHAT I CALL MUSIC 328 I was beginning to loose hope for compilation CDs, but now that there is a compilation CD of only power ballads, I can now take solace in the fact that I will no longer have to worry about finding new music for the next 70-80 some odd years.

I was going to make a new post on how the French electroduo, Justice, is pretty much Daft Punk nouveau, and how awesome they are for the small amount of material they've put out so far. But with the release of NOW THATS WHAT I CALL: POWER BALLADS, excuse my colloquialism, fuck that.

Honestly, who needs Justice's heavy distored synth riffs...

..when you have such Bret Michaels and acoustic guitars?

Screw awesome Daft Punk remixes...

...All I need me is some Joe Elliot

If they happen to release NOW THATS WHAT I CALL MUSIC: POWER BALLADS 2: SONGS TO GET LAID TO IN THE BACK OF YOUR '86 CAMARO, I may just drop dead from the sheer excitement. Pray that my dreams do not come true.

But dude, John Mayer is a pretty decent musician...

2009-01-25T18:17:00.003-05:00

This is pretty old news to those that have seen Where the Light Is, but for those that still think John Mayer is catering to the 14-year old girl demographic, read on.

While his Contiuum was musically, a step in the right direction, "Say" was just a pop-fueled disappointment. With the news of a live set out back in July of '08, I was skeptic to say the least. Initially I though to myself, "Oh, well since it's his first mainstream live release, it's going to be full of pop hits." For the time being, I just wrote it off.

And then I saw him live in August.

It might have been his 3+ minute solo's on Gravity, Belief, and Vultures, but what really sold me was when he took Duffy's "Mercy", and transformed it into a captivating slow blues jam. It completely caught me off guard. At first I was blown away by him playing a standard slow blues song, but when I heard, "You got me begging me for mercy," I was floored to say the least. Johnny-boy quite literally took a straight up pop song and transformed it into a blues song.

Here is a decent video of him explaining why. Oh and actually playing it as well.

Needless to say, seeing it live was 1000x times better. What even sealed the deal is that those 14 year old girls there to see songs like "Say", "Your Body is a Wonderland", and "Neon" were loving it. Say what you want about how Mayer just re-hash's Hendrix and SRV licks, but the man is bringing blues to the masses, just like Jimi and Stevie did. If he started out playing the things he's playing now, he would just be popular among guitar players, much like a Joe Bonamassa. He proved himself to the exec's with his earlier pop-sales, so now he has the freedom to play what he wants. Hopefully over time, Mayer's 14 year old fans will start to become hooked on guys like SRV and Hendrix, all the artists that spun off of them, and even their inspirations such as the Howlin' Wolf, BB King, and Albert King.

After that concert, John Mayer didn't seem so much like a lost cause anymore, and thus prompted me to pick up his live DVD, Where the Light Is. It showcases a John Mayer that is playing what he loves, where his enthusiasm not only shows in his singing, but more importantly in his playing. The real highlight of his set is the somewhat obscure, but completely awesome, Hendrix song "Wait Until Tomorrow."

So yeah, if you've written of John Mayer, give the guy another chance. He deserves it.

Who is this guy?

2008-12-17T03:06:00.003-05:00

While looking for live version of Kenny Wayne Shepherd's "While We Cry" I stumbled upon this man by the name of Zack Rosicka. Not only his tone awesome, the guy has some chops. While there are million and one people playing SRV inspired blues, it's not often you get to see someone throw in Joe Bonamassa/Eric Johnson style licks with such finesse and feeling. Oh yeah, and his tone is killer, creamy yet not super overdriven, something not easily accomplished.

Anyway, the video in question:

What really floored me was his "Little Wing" cover. While one can eventually play it with enough hours put into it, the mark of a good player is improvisation. Stevie Ray was able to do it, Clapton was able to do it, and Mr. Rosicka here makes a damn fine attempt at putting his spin on the Hendrix classic.

Finally, while not Zack Rosicka related. It just pains me to see that too few people notice Brian Kahanek. While his lead playing is standard awesome, his chord progressions are awesomer. Many people use distortion to kinda make up for ho-hum playing (power chords sound much less impressive when the gain isn't turned up to 11), but BK makes his '59 sing.

Operation: Infinite Bus

2008-12-01T17:58:00.004-05:00

Possibly the coolest charity to ever grace the internets is Desert Bus for Hope. Before getting to what these insane people do, it might help to talk about the charity involved.

In the year twenty zero three, the super chill guys over at the webcomic Penny Arcade decided that toy drives were lame, and that little Timmy did not deserve a Hot Wheels set for Christmas. Nay, Tycho and Gabe felt that Timmy deserved a brand new Playstation 2. Thus Child's Play was born.

Shamelessly ripped from their website:

With the help of hospital staff, we've set up gift wish lists full of video games, toys, and movies. You can go to each hospital's list and buy a toy, and that toy will be sent to the hospital. Some of these kids are in pretty bad shape. Imagine being stuck alone in a hospital over the holidays, getting something from a fellow gamer would really raise their spirits. Some of the stuff the hospital will give away for kids to keep, while other gifts (like consoles) will be kept by the hospital for patients to use throughout the year.

Now that's out of the way, it's time to tackle the enigma of Desert Bus for Hope.

You may know of many charity raising marches/runs/walks etc. Some famous example being The Relay for Life, March of Dimes, and the Lupus Walk. Now, you may say to yourself, what does driving a bus in the desert have to do with raising money?

Enter the mini-game Desert Bus.

Part of the Sega CD game Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors

Another shameful copy and paste from Wikipedia:

Desert Bus is the best known minigame in the package, and was a featured part of Electronic Gaming Monthly's preview. The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph, a feat that would take the player 8 hours of continuous play to complete, as the game cannot be paused.

The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other cars on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it is impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point. The player then gets the option to make the return trip to Tucson—for another point (a decision they must make in a few seconds or the game ends). Players may continue to make trips and score points as long as their endurance holds out.

Simply put these guys are driving from Tuscon to Las Vegas as long as you keep on donating. Now gaining popularity, Penny Arcade has decided to match all donations, up to a maximum to 10,000. Those Canadians are going to be riding the desert bus for a very, very, long time.

Attention

2008-08-05T16:41:00.003-04:00

Look at this:

The video discussed:

You know what really grinds my gears

2008-04-07T00:55:00.003-04:00

The one great thing about Facebook vs. Myspace, is that Facebook had some professionalism to it. Before, Facebook was a simple way to just leave your friends messages, without having to wade through stupid bullshit backgrounds, listen to their crappy taste in music, or scroll through dozens of spam posts. Facebook went from clean and efficient to a massive clusterfuck of pointless applications. Nothing has made my eyes spontaneously bleed until I saw this:

God dammit.

Now, the one thing I left Myspace for, wading through people's bullshit, has reincarnated itself on Facebook. And it's not a Jesus-style resurrection where your son goes searching for Easter Eggs ,eats shittons of chocolate giggling, no, it's a Pet Sematary-style resurrection where your undead son tries to kill you with a surgical scalpel, then goes and kills your wife.

I don't give two shits if you think I'm HOT OR NOT, consider me to be one of your "top friends", most likely to fuck a goat, or you think I would fancy a crappy compressed jpeg made in paint with an over-used not-even-funny line tYpEd LiKe ThIs. No, I don't want your e-drinks, sexy e-gifts, e-gifts, or your requests to join your pirate/ninja/thug/ass pirate gang.

Possibly the pinnacle of social entropy

Just give me my old Facebook. All I want to do is make thinly veiled requests for tantric sex known as poking, and maybe post on people's walls/pictures.

This post had to eventually happen.

2008-02-15T01:25:00.004-05:00

This is the obligatory blog post declaring my preference for the 2008 Presidential Election.

Ron Paul

After thinking about going Clinton 1.5, doing the Barackaway, or going with my Senator John McCain, I've decided to forget all of them. It's funny actually, last year studying AP government, I read that a majority of kids going into college, somehow made them more liberal. Here I am, into the second semester, and I haven't read anything, heard anything, that specifically advocates liberalism. So why would I just go for a (drastic) reform candidate?

I think college kids become more liberal due to more knowledge about the system. As you learn about the Constitution, the founding fathers, and politics today, I think it's easy to see how bad things are right now. Of course every single candidate running now has some plan they propose for pulling out of Iraq, but Ron Paul is different. He is strongly against policing the world, and I agree. Up until WWII the U.S. had a strong isolationist policy. Now, isolationism doesn't mean we can't freely trade with other countries, that's just being economically stupid, but getting involved in world politics? Moronic. Why should we spend tax-payers money, on foreign problems, when there are far greater problem domestically? If you look back at my post about Naomi Wolf, Ron Paul's platform seems to be a breath of fresh air. It's the government's foreign policy that's creating this hostility toward our nation, as shown in this New York Times article.

If you take a look at this video, you'll find that Ron Paul doesn't base his campaign on defacing other candidates, yet he only focuses on his platform, which is the best thing anyone running for office can do.

Jake and Amir.

2008-02-14T14:44:00.005-05:00

Introducing the funniest web series on the internets.

Jake and Amir.

Here is just a sample of their work.

Florida Part II from Jake Hurwitz on Vimeo.

Let get to know me.

2008-01-31T19:46:00.001-05:00

Usually, during my small stint of using myspace, when people were bored they would do surveys, usually because they thought people actually cared enough to read about their lives, and/or bored. This survery, however, wasn't conjured from some act of myspace boredom. Sitting in study hall, Rob brought this list of questions to our attentions, which yielded about 45 minutes of fun. Anyway this is:

From Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks--he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence.

Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

Nope, although this guy can do real, and actual magic, they are just simple parlor tricks. Einstein's work actually has some effect on furthering our knowledge of the world around us.

2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that--for some reason--every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots.

Would you attempt to do this?

Sure, I'd be able to fuck PETA over, and promote civil liberties at the same time.

3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical.

Which option do you select?

The turtle. Being of German heritage, displaying Hitler's skull in my living room would be a huge hypocrisy.

4. Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called "super gorilla." Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, an I.Q. of almost 85, and--most notably--a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be "borderline unblockable" and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.

You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

At this point, the Raiders need a 800 pound Gorilla to pull .500.

5. You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?

No way, my tastes in music cover such a broad spectrum on genres, that to listen to Alice In Chains for the rest of my life, would probably make ask the nice man with the crescent wrench to kill me. Besides, morphine would make the whole collarbone-breaking experience a lot easier.

6. At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.

Would you still do this?

Hell to the no. Why would anyone want to agree to this?

7. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

I wouldn't, I would run all three of them together into one story, simply entitled, "Threesome."

8. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy."

Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

Nope, I do this anyway, but with Dumb and Dumber/Anchorman/Old School.

9. A novel titled Interior Mirror is released to mammoth commercial success (despite middling reviews). However, a curious social trend emerges: Though no one can prove a direct scientific link, it appears that almost 30 percent of the people who read this book immediately become homosexual. Many of these newfound homosexuals credit the book for helping them reach this conclusion about their orientation, despite the fact that Interior Mirror is ostensibly a crime novel with no homo erotic content (and was written by a straight man).

Would this phenomenon increase (or decrease) the likelihood of you reading this book?

Decrease. It most likely contains subliminal homo erotic content, meant to brainwash. Fugetaboudit.

10. This is the opening line of Jay McInerney's Bright Lights, Big City: "You are not the kind of guy who would be in a place like this at this time of the morning." Think about that line in the context of the novel (assuming you've read it). Now go to your CD collection and find Heart's Little Queen album (assuming you own it). Listen to the opening riff to "Barracuda."

Which of these two introductions is a higher form of art?

Anyone can write a catchy riff if they just jam out for a couple hours. Jay McInerney didn't just stumble upon writing Bright Lights, Big City.

11. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that--somewhere--your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill.

Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

DVD. My mom is far more important that some flashy images on a screen.

12. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?

Whatever is in my wallet at the time. If I'm broke, so it goes, if I have 50 bucks, then it's just my lucky day.

13. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.

What do you talk about?

"Welcome to MTV's new reality dating series...."

14. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves).

This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

Garfield sucks period, regardless if you are a cat, or a person.

15. You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks.

How do you spend the next fourteen days?

Sunbathing off the southern coast of St. Bart's with spider monkeys, tripping on acid.

16. Someone builds and optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it’s essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that—for some unknown reason—you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed.

The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a pre-season CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?

Nope. I'm kinda curious as to how I'm going to develop a taste for the CFL.

17. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.”

Which of these two people do you trust less?

The man with no past. At least with the first man, you know what you are getting yourself into.

18. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon.

Which option do you select?

Europe. While the things you can do on the moon, pretty much lasts 10 minutes. You could spend 10 years in Europe and not experience it all.

19. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why.

Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

"It's nothing a few beers can't take care of."

20. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as “brutally honest and relentlessly fair.” Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.

Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

The documentary. I'd rather see someone take a straight shot at me, than sugar coat it.

21. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will re experience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you’ve learned form having lived your life previously.

Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

I wouldn't change a thing.

22. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don’t believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.

Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

The second one. Having sex with a married co-worker isn't going to get me fired.

23. Consider this possibility:

a. Think about deceased TV star John Ritter.

b. Now, pretend Ritter had never become famous. Pretend he was never affected by the trappings of fame, and try to imagine what his personality would have been like.

c. Now, imagine that this person—the unfamous John Ritter—is a character in a situation comedy.

d. Now, you are also a character in this sitcom, and the unfamous John Ritter character is your sitcom father.

e. However, this sitcom is actually your real life. In other words, you are living inside a sitcom: Everything about our life is a construction, featuring the unfamous John Ritter playing himself (in the role of your TV father). But this is not a sitcom. This is your real life.

How would you feel about this?

"Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down..."

Childrens Television is in the Shitter.

2008-01-02T22:37:00.006-05:00

This post was inspired by one line in the recently released flim, Juno (which is fantastic, go see it.) Spoiling the movie, when Juno's water breaks she shouts out, "Thundercats, HO!", quoting the famous line of badassery by Lion-O in the animated show, you guessed it, Thundercats:

"Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats, HO!"

Just this line alone made me remember all the shit-kicking cartoons on when I was a kid, and how nowadays it seems like we are now raising a generation of pussies. Back in the early 90's I had watched a multitude of character building cartoons comprising of He-Man, Transformers, Thundercats, Voltron, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You see, not only did these cartoons comprise of intense battle sequences, but we also got a dose of life lessons as well. What could be a better combination? I get to watch giant robots blow shit up in Voltron and Transformers, as well as seeing He-man and Lion-O tear Skeletor and Mumm-ra a new asshole (respectively of course), and still learn what it is to be a leader, be a good friend, earn trust, or whatever moral value the episode is trying to get across. Call it Aesop's fables for hyperactive elementary school kids.

So what's wrong with today's children's entertainment? Sure it has all the same moral messages, but it just seriously lacks the balls. First one on the hit-list is Pokemon. Besides the fact that it was ripped straight from Japan, the show sends the message to kids that it's alright to be a wuss. How?The main character Ash Ketchum, does zero fighting for himself, but has his little pokemon do it for him. What kind of message is this sending to children? A bad one. Pokemon celebrates enslaving peaceful creatures, to do the bidding of their master, Ash. Ash simply uses these pokemon as a tool to fulfill his own glory.

Gotta Catch 'em All? More Like Gotta Enslave 'em All.

Now if He-Man or Lion-O had a problem, they would handle business themselves, championing the American ideal of making it on your own. Ash Ketchum here, seems to be preaching an older American ideal, but instead of catching pokemon, it was Africans, and instead of doing battle against other pokemon, it was picking cotton/indigo/any other cash crop. Could we be going into a regression?

Pokemon was the first Japanese cartoon (anime to the elite), transported here for children. But there were some saviors. Dragon Ball Z was also on TV's across America at the same time, but after watching it many times as a kid, it's over-the-top action places it among He-Man and Thundercats. Even Gundam Wing, has merits. While it has the same giant robot carnage, instead of teaching moral lessons, it gave kids a crash course in politics.

However, much like Pokemon, Naruto threatens to poison our children's minds. Simply put, the character of Naruto is just a bratty child. I wouldn't want my child to be watching a show that positively reinforces being a pain in the ass, to which I'm going to have to negatively de-reinforce with 5 across the back of the head. Not to mention, Naruton celebrates the wrong type of fighting. Being a ninja means waiting around for one person to come along, to which you'll stab once, then run away like girly-man. He-Man and Lion-O are out there in the thick of things, kicking ass and taking names. Do we want our children getting into a fight, laying down a sucker punch and running away? No, as this would only result of having their ass stomped in the next day, because unlike ninja, you can't hide at recess. If my kid was to ever get into a fight, I would want him to go out swinging. Even if he does get beat, at least he'll still get some respect for taking a punch instead of the Naruto wannabe, Timmy, who ran away and locked himself in the bathroom stall after giving Bobby a cheapshot in the gonads.

Stupid.

More Obscure Artist Spotlight

2007-12-19T02:41:00.000-05:00

I know I've gone over blues-rock guitarist Brian Kahanek, but after a great deal of research on last.fm (read:I looked at similar artists to SRV, and BK), I think I have found a trifecta, a holy trinity, of blues-rock guitarists of our generation, excluding Johnny Mayer, because of aforementioned reasons. The two additions are Joe Bonamassa, and Kenny Wayne Shepherd.

First we shall get into the boy from Louisiana, Kenny Wayne Shepherd. Just as Albert King was Stevie Ray Vaughan's idol, as you could hear constant "Mr. Blues" licks being laid down by Stevie, you hear constant signature SRV licks being laid down by Kenny. This kid even got SRV's tone, which, to say the least, eludes most players (Protip: guitar tone isn't the amp and effects, it's in your fingers, SRV would sound like SRV even on my 15 watt practice amp). As customary, YouTube serves as the medium to which you'll be able to see this prodigy go to work. Now, if this kid can break off from sounding like SRV, and start to find his own sound, then children, we're going to have something to behold.

Here he is jamming with Double Trouble. Just an FYI, the official name of Stevie Ray Vaughan, was Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble. So yes, these two guys, Chris Layton on drums, and Tommy Shannon on bass, played with Stevie. I'd say Kenny holds up well, with these two blues greats.

Finally, Joe Bonamassa, who has his own signature blues sound of his own. While he does reach into the SRV bag of tricks sometimes, it's expected, because since Robert Johnson (the original blues guitarist), everyone just takes from the guy before them. Joe is a bit more like Brian Kahanek, except he throws in some neat slide guitar. I would say Joe is a combination of SRV, BB King, and Eric Johnson.

Finally, I found this awesome live set of Brian Kahanek, self described, "it's ugly, it's nasty, and it's wonderful." This man can play.

Forget Al Gore

2007-12-14T04:55:00.001-05:00

Let's talk about Naomi Wolf.

While I'm sure you all have seen, or heard of Al Gore's controversial documentary "An Inconvenient Truth", what Naomi Wolf has to say, is far more intriguing, and alarming, than the earth's temperature rising. If you are an avid Colbert Report watcher, like myself, then you have probably seen her as a guest, advocating her new book "The End of America: Letter of Warning to a Young Patriot." Although the title is a bit unwieldy, the premise of the book is simple, America is going through a fascist shift, and here is why.

Without going to much in depth of the book, you can just watch this presentation given by Naomi just last October.

Stephen Colbert does joke about being super-conservative, a certain idea he threw across in his "The Word" section of his show began to pike my interest. Basically, he advocated the government, stretch it's boundaries of what is legal, so the people who are practicing legal activities, are now doing illegal acts. So, in an extreme case, free speech, no longer becomes free, harmful words against the government once protected by 1st amendment rights, are now viewed as terrorist, and become illegal. Another thing that has recently come under the limelight is the "Dont Taze Me Bro!" video on YouTube. Of course a majority of people might just shrug it off, with a chuckle, that some unfortunate college kid was tazed. Funny, maybe? Scary? Yes. While the kid was detained, the reasons for, are alarming. Watching the video, once the kid started to ask about Skull and Bones, thats when the police stepped in. This is a blatant restriction on first amendment rights.

I'm usually not one to give into conspiracy theories,as Loose Change is, pardon my French, a load of bullshit. Honestly, I'll let my good friend Maddox explain this one here. However, Naomi's argument, bases it upon fact, and precedence, a little more concrete than compressed video clips, and declassified government documents(why would the government declassify documents they didn't want the public to know? If you have read George Orwell's 1984, sometimes what the government spits out isn't always the truth). Her argument goes point by point, essentially "Here is what happened in this fascist shift, and here it is again happening in our government." If there is one book you must read, or at least see one YouTube video, check out what Naomi has to say.

As a final thought to this, I'll leave you with a quote from Ben Franklin.

"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

If you've been living under a rock for the past 20 years.

2007-12-08T20:04:00.001-05:00

I know you have all probally heard of Jimi Hendrix, but I'm sure Stevie Ray Vaughan, and Billy Gibbons may have stuck a "huhwha?" with you. So, in effort to spread the knowledge about the aural righteousness that is blues music, I'll introduce you to the best videos on YouTube of Stevie and Billy.

Stevie's playing is all about emotion. John Mayer (who I'll be talking about later on), once said of Stevie's playing,

"Given a certain time of day, certain part of the set, certain culminating energy that happens in the room, you can play with that same intensity, but you can only do it for about 20 seconds, and then your entire arm cramps up."

Even Eric Clapton, who most refer to as, "Guitar God", and rightfully so, said of Stevie,

"I remember being fascinated by the fact that he never, ever seemed to be lost in anyway. I mean, it wasn't ever that he took a breather or paused to think where he was going next. It just flowed out of him."

So, here is Stevie, expanding on Jimi Hendrix's "Little Wing."

While thats not Billy's type of groove, here the Reverend Billy G. just shows the basic's of blues guitar.

Now, I'm sure you ask, "But Steve, what about John Mayer?" Sure, I admit he is a good player, having seen him in concert myself, but it's his attitude that keeps him off my list. Besides being extremely arrogant (Watch any interview with him, and he'll boast about his playing), he is also a bit of a sell out. The man obviously has the chops to make a great blues guitarist, even Eric Clapton thinks so, but does he release blues albums? No. While I admit Continuum was a nice change of pace from pop-acoustic-written-for-teenage-girls music, after hearing his new hit, I'm sorely disappointed. It it yet again a return to his shitty roots. John had the chance to become the great blues player of our age, bring blues back to the masses, like Stevie did (6 Grammys he won), but is blowing it on just releasing boring pop tracks.

Something for you ear-hole.

2007-12-07T10:48:00.000-05:00

For years, I've been listening to the trifecta of electric guitar: Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi Hendrix, and Billy Gibbons (of ZZ Top fame). However, I've finally found someone to make it a foursome. Sure, Eddie Van Halen's rhythms are killer, or Yngwie Malmsteen can sweep pick arpeggios faster than anyone else, but if you look at the trifecta, I'm more of blues guy. This is where Brian Kahanek wins it. Although his play style isn't as aggresive as Stevie's, progressive as Jimi's, or as shit-kicking as Billy's, it's still full of expression, and emotion.

I'm going to go ahead and endorse his , surprisingly, only album, Real Life. Brian goes from slow ballad in "Last Mile", to cranking it to 11 in "Sold Your Soul" and I'm sure if you have played Guitar Hero II, you've heard his single, "Gemini".

Anyway, to get a taste of what Brian is like, check him out jamming in the studio.

I would like to introduce...

2007-12-07T01:51:00.000-05:00

...the two best websites on the internet.

First up, is the aptly titled "The Best Page in the Universe"
If there was a single man who made me the bitter sarcastic person I am, it's Maddox. Hate has never been so funny.

Second, yet equally as awesome in it's own way, is Tucker Max. This man made anal intercourse, subsequent anal discharge, and vomit, hilarious.

But as the wise LeVar Burton, of Reading Rainbow fame, once said, "But...you don't have to take my word for it," go ahead and check them out.

The blog cherry has been broken.

2007-12-07T01:46:00.000-05:00

After a few years of hearing all this blog nonsense, hearing how it's the new media format for news, and everything to do with nothing, I figure I'll join in on the fun. Some people have a theme for their blogs, a purpose. Some use them to post stupid things found off YouTube. Some even thing people care enough about their lives, that they use their blog as a diary.

Mine is going to be a mix of all three, so therefore, its a blog about nothing.